Title: Never Let You Go
Author: Elisabeth
Rating: NC-17
Fandom: Heroes
Word Count: 3,570
Characters/Pairings: Nathan/Peter
Summary: Sequel to Lost Without You. Nathan goes after Peter.
Spoilers: through "Kindred"
Disclaimer: I claim no ownership over these characters. I am merely borrowing them from Tim Kring et al.
Feedback: Yes please! It makes me happy and keeps me writing.
Author's Note: Thanks to apckrfan for the beta.
Author's Note 2: This is my first Nathan/Peter smut, so please be kind. Written for the Reunion Challenge at flyingpetrellis.
Never Let You Go
Nathan stood across the street from the nondescript pub in Cork, Ireland. He'd been freezing his ass off in his slightly loose suit as he hid behind a newspaper he wasn't reading, staring at the pub. For inside that pub, Peter was rumored to be living.
He still found it difficult to believe that Peter was alive and renting a room above a pub in Ireland. Why hadn't he contacted anyone back home? Was he hiding from someone? Sylar? The Company? Their Mother? Him?
Did Peter think that he had killed Nathan and that was why he was hiding away from everyone that he knew and loved?
Taking a deep breath, Nathan knew that he wouldn't find any answers to these questions by staring at a building. He briskly folded the newspaper, tucked it under his arm, and strode purposefully across the street.
He stepped into the dimly lit pub and looked around. There were a couple of patrons sitting at a table nursing their drinks, the remains of their meal on the table before them. A couple more people sat several seats apart at the bar.
There, at the back of the pub, sitting at a table with two other men, was Peter.
Nathan's breath caught in his throat and he had to restrain himself from flying across the room and pulling Peter into his arms. He wanted to cry with happiness. He desperately wanted to tell Peter exactly what he meant to him.
Peter suddenly sat up ramrod straight and turned in his chair, his eyes zeroing in on Nathan. He stood slowly, pushing the chair back, ignoring his companions' questions. He crossed the room to stand before Nathan.
They silently regarded each other. Peter tried to figure out why this man seemed so familiar – the one whose thoughts had assaulted him with longing and regret. Nathan was trying his hardest not to turn into a blubbering mass of emotion.
"I know you, don't I?" Peter finally asked.
Nathan choked back a sob. "It's me, Peter. It's Nathan."
"Nathan," Peter repeated, testing the feel of the name on his tongue. It felt familiar. Like home.
"Don't you recognize me, Pete?" Nathan asked. His hands twitched with the need to embrace his brother.
"You seem familiar," Peter said, slowly. "Where do I know you from?"
"Home," Nathan said. He debated lying, saying he was Peter's lover. It would be the easiest way to show him just how he felt. But he couldn't do that. "I'm your brother."
"Brother," Peter said in awe. "I have a brother!"
Peter sprung forward and pulled Nathan into a hug. Nathan wrapped Peter in his arms and buried his face in his neck, breathing deeply. "You're alive," he whispered against Peter's skin, squeezing tighter. "You're alive."
Peter pulled back, but not as far as he'd been before. "I have a brother," he called out to the men he'd been sitting with.
One of the men stood and crossed to them. He was a tall, thickset man with blond hair. He placed a proprietary hand on Peter's shoulder. "Congratulations, Peter," he said with a thick Irish brogue.
"Ricky, this is my brother," Peter said, beaming.
"Nathan Petrelli," Nathan said, holding his hand out.
"Petrelli," Peter repeated. "My name is Peter Petrelli."
Nathan looked at him quizzically. "Yes, Peter Petrelli. Are you feeling okay, Peter? Where have you been all this time? We've been worried sick."
"I have amnesia," Peter answered matter-of-factly.
"Amnesia," Nathan doubtfully repeated.
"Uh, yeah. All I knew what that my name is Peter, and Ricky here had to tell me that."
"And how did you know my brother's name when he didn't?" Nathan asked, taking a threatening step towards Ricky.
Peter stepped between Nathan and Ricky, speaking before the other man could. "He had this box. It had information in it about who I am. At least, that's what he told me."
"What? You didn't open it? Didn't you care who you were?" Nathan nearly yelled.
Peter winced at Nathan's anger. He placed a hand on Nathan's back and quietly requested, "Do you mind not causing a scene? Look, I have a room upstairs. We can talk more openly up there. There are some things that I think you can help me to understand."
Nathan nodded his head in assent, following Peter to a door near the back of the pub that led upstairs.
Before they reached the stairway, a beautiful woman with dark hair approached Peter.
"Is everything alright there?" she asked him, concerned.
"It's great," Peter told her. "Caitlin, this is my brother, Nathan."
"Brother?" she repeated, surprised. "I didn't know you had yourself a brother."
"Neither did I," Peter agreed. "Isn't it great?"
"We'll just have to see about that," she said, eyeing Nathan warily. "Nice to meet you."
"You too," Nathan acknowledged with a nod of his head.
Peter leaned over and kissed Caitlin reassuringly before he continued up the stairs.
"Girlfriend?" Nathan asked when they reached Peter's room.
Peter shrugged. "I guess. It's all kind of new."
"I bet," Nathan muttered under his breath. "So, amnesia?" he asked.
"Yeah. It all seems so unreal. I mean, who gets amnesia in real life? That's only something that happens on TV or in comics."
"What do you remember?" Nathan asked.
"I remember this," Peter said, spreading his arms wide to encompass the pub. "Ricky found me handcuffed inside a shipping crate on the docks. I had no idea who I was or how I got there. He didn't believe me at first, especially since he was supposed to be stealing the iPods that were supposed to be in that crate. Instead he found me." Peter rubbed his jaw with remembered pain from his beatings.
"You didn't have any identification on you?" Nathan asked.
Peter shrugged. "Ricky put whatever I had on me in a box." He gestured to the item in question on his dresser. "Oh, except for this." He pulled the necklace out from under his shirt.
Nathan came closer to look at the necklace. He frowned. "That's the symbol of Dad's law firm."
"Our dad is a lawyer?" Peter asked.
"Was. He died about a year ago," Nathan informed him.
"Oh. Were we close?" Peter asked, not sure how he felt about this news.
"Not really," Nathan answered. Glancing over at the box, Nathan crossed to examine it. "Why didn't you open this?"
Peter shifted uncomfortably. "I didn't want to know," he admitted.
"You didn't wonder if there were people looking for you? Missing you? God, Peter, I missed you so much," Nathan admitted, his shoulders shook as he suppressed a sob.
"Hey, hey there," Peter said, moving to embrace this stranger, his brother.
"I did wonder," Peter admitted. "But I was also afraid. There are these things that I can do, but I don't know how I can do them. It doesn't make sense. And more and more of these abilities keep coming out of nowhere. Not all of them are nice, either."
"We're different, you and I," Nathan told him.
"You can do stuff too?" Peter asked.
"I can fly," Nathan admitted, knowing he needed to regain his brother's trust.
"Wow. I can't do that," Peter commented.
"Actually, you can," Nathan said. "We're the next step in evolution. Somehow our genetics have taken a step forward and we can do extraordinary things. I can fly, Claire can heal, Hiro can move through time and space; you can do whatever other people you've met can do."
"So most people only have one power?" Peter asked.
"Almost everyone that I've met can only do one thing, except for you. Your power is mimicry."
"I don't know if I like the sound of that," Peter admitted. "I mean, what if I came in contact with a really unstable power?"
Nathan sighed. "That's exactly what happened."
"What?"
"On November 8 th , you exploded over New York City and no one has heard from you since. Most people think that you died in the explosion, but not me, and not Claire."
"I exploded?" Peter asked incredulously. "How does a person explode? And who's Claire? You've mentioned her twice now. She feels important, somehow."
"There was a man who emitted radiation. You couldn't control it. You were going to blow up the city, so at the last moment, I flew you to a safe distance away, above the city. You pushed me away before you exploded though, and I fell back to earth."
"But how could I have survived something like that? Did the energy just leave me or did my body fly to pieces? A human body can't withstand something like that!"
"That would be where Claire comes in," Nathan explained. "Like I said, she can heal, from anything, and you had absorbed her power. She had saved your life twice before."
"She was more to me than that though, wasn't she?" Peter asked. "That name sounds important."
Nathan pulled out his wallet and showed Peter a picture of Claire. The one that Meredith had sent him. "Claire is my daughter," Nathan admitted.
"Why didn't you say that before?" Peter asked, cradling the photo. "My niece. Wait, that doesn't feel right."
"It's complicated," Nathan said with a sigh. "Long story short: I thought Claire had died when she was a baby then she turned up fifteen years later as the cheerleader that you had been sent to save. There's a very close bond between the two of you. Personally, I think she has a bit of a crush on you."
"This is fucked up," Peter said.
"Tell me about it," Nathan agreed.
"I'm sorry that I made you worry," Peter said after several minutes of silence.
"Just promise me that you'll never do that again," Nathan said.
"You know that I can't promise something like that. I didn't go out and lose my memory on purpose," Peter pointed out.
"I know. I know, Peter. I'm sorry. I just don't know what I'd do if I ever lost you again," Nathan admitted.
"You took this pretty hard, didn't you?"
Nathan snorted. "You have no idea."
"Tell me," Peter said, sitting on his bed.
Nathan sat beside him. "I kind of lost it after the explosion. No, I didn't lose it, I gave up." He looked at Peter. "You were gone. Nothing mattered anymore because I had lost the person most important to me in the entire world. Heidi, my wife, left me and took our sons and I couldn't be bothered to care. I pretty much moved into your apartment to be near you, to wait for you to come home."
"God, Nathan," Peter exhaled. "You're talking like you lost your mate."
"I did," Nathan agreed, looking meaningfully into Peter's eyes.
Peter sucked in a sharp breath. "Are you saying that we… that you and I… What are you saying?"
"I'm saying that despite my knowledge and better judgment, I seem to have fallen in love with my brother," Nathan said, knowing that if he couldn't admit it now, then he would never be able to say it.
"Woah, woah," Peter said, standing up and taking a step away from Nathan. "That's just sick, man."
"Is it?" Nathan asked. "Think about it. Think about what you feel about me. Just, look at me and tell me that it can't be true. Forget about the fact that we're brothers and tell me what you feel when you look at me."
Peter looked. He stared at Nathan for a long time, silently assessing the man before him. What he saw was a broken man. Someone who had been through hell and back and was looking for his salvation. Yes, Nathan was an attractive man, but Peter clearly liked being with women.
"Wait a minute, didn't you just say your daughter has a crush on me?" Nathan nodded. "And now you're trying to seduce me as well?"
Nathan stood and slowly approached Peter. "I know it's crazy and fucked up. I'm crazy and fucked up. I'm in love with my fucking brother."
Nathan leaned forward, preparing to kiss Peter, but he moved slowly to give Peter a chance to pull away. When he was a hair's breath away from Peter's lips, Peter said, "I have a girlfriend."
"Do you want me to stop?" Nathan asked, their lips nearly brushing as they spoke.
Peter swallowed hard. "No."
Nathan took a step forward and finally pressed his mouth against Peter's. It was a soft brushing of lips until Nathan deepened it, his arms wrapping around Peter, pulling his body flush against him.
Peter remained stiff and unmoving at first, but when Nathan pulled him in close, it was like a switch had been thrown and he pressed himself into the other man. Brother or not, all that Peter knew at that moment was that this felt right. Kissing Nathan was the most natural thing in the world for him to do. He idly wondered if being an incestuous freak was better or worse than being a murderer.
Peter pulled back, dragging in deep breaths of air. "Wait, wait, wait," he said. "I need to know."
He stumbled to where the box had sat since he'd brought it to his room. Lifting the lid, he eagerly looked through the contents. There was a driver's license stating that he was, in fact, Peter Petrelli. There was a photograph of the girl that Nathan had shown him, Claire. There was another one of Nathan and a woman with dark hair who must be Heidi. There were also the normal contents of a wallet – a couple of American dollars and credit cards, a student ID, etc.
Peter held the open box out for Nathan's inspection. "You and Claire. That's what I carried with me."
"The two people who love you the most," Nathan commented. "Are you okay?"
Peter moved back to sit on his bed. "Yeah, I will be. At least this proves that we really did know each other."
"I think you already believed that," Nathan said, sitting beside Peter.
"Yeah, that kiss just felt too good for us not to know each other. Did we do that before?" Peter asked.
"Never," Nathan admitted. "I didn't even realize that I wanted to do that with you until you were gone. Then it was all that I could think about. You're not freaked out about it?"
"Well, maybe a little. All of this is a lot to take in. The kiss was nice though," Peter said.
Nathan lifted a hand to cup Peter's face, drawing him in for another kiss. As the kiss became more heated, hands began to roam. Peter slid his hands under Nathan's suit jacket and pushed it off his body. Nathan took that as permission to begin to undress Peter as well and both men started to unbutton the other's shirt at the same time.
Nathan groaned when Peter's shirt lay on the floor, his naked chest heaving with the struggle to catch his breath as Nathan simply stared at him. Peter's body was much more defined than what Nathan remembered. Almost nervously, he slid a hand from Peter's neck down the center of his chest and over his well-defined abs.
"My God," Nathan breathed, feeling his arousal stir.
"I could say the same thing," Peter said, drawing Nathan's eyes up to his. They seemed to burn with the same hunger that Nathan felt.
They came together at the same time. Nathan pressed Peter to lie back, settling them on the bed, never breaking their kiss. Nathan touched every inch of flesh that he could reach, and Peter was doing the same to him.
Nathan stilled when he felt Peter's hands opening his belt. "What are you doing, Pete?"
"Pants. Off," Peter mumbled, having moved his head to lick and suck Nathan's neck.
"Are you sure?" Nathan asked in disbelief. This was what he'd wanted, but it still scared him. He'd never been with a man before, after all.
"More than anything," Peter said. Sensing Nathan's hesitation, he looked up. "Why? What's wrong? Isn't this what you wanted?"
"Yes. God, yes. It's just…I've never done this with a man before."
"Oh," Peter said, eyes wide. "Have I?"
"I honestly don't know," Nathan said, rolling off of Peter. "I'd like to think that you haven't, but there was a lot that we didn't know about each other."
"Well, why don't we just see how this goes," Peter suggested. "No rush." He leaned down to give Nathan a languorous kiss.
"Mmm," Nathan hummed into Peter's mouth. He ran his fingers into Peter's too-short hair and held him close. This time, when Peter reached for his belt, he didn't protest.
Peter removed the last of both of their clothing, Nathan too afraid to let go of Peter to undress him himself.
Lying side by side, facing each other, legs twined, they pressed the full lengths of their bodies together. Kissing and touching, they rocked together, learning and exploring, and simply enjoying the novelty of being like this.
Their cocks bumped and rubbed against each other's, giving Nathan a shiver of excitement. He reached between them and took both their cocks in hand, stroking them together.
"Yes, like that," Peter cooed, thrusting into Nathan's hand.
"You are so beautiful," Nathan said, bending his head to taste Peter's shoulder. "My beautiful brother."
"Yes," Peter hissed, his fingers digging into Nathan's powerful shoulders.
Nathan's hand sped up; he was so close to the edge already. He had been ever since Peter had pressed his naked body against his. This was what he'd longed for all those long months he'd spent alone.
One of Peter's hands stroked down his back and squeezed Nathan's ass, causing Nathan to jerk in surprise.
"Sorry," Peter muttered.
"No, do it again," Nathan said, relaxing into Peter's touch, squeezing their cocks a little tighter.
Peter did. One of his fingers slid between Nathan's cheeks and began to lightly tease his hole.
"Peter, oh God, Peter," Nathan cried out as he came, spilling over his hand and Peter's cock and belly.
Peter thrust into Nathan's lax grip a couple of times before his own release was upon him. His orgasm wasn't as spectacular as Nathan's, but it was just as satisfying.
Seeing as how Nathan had collapsed back on the bed, Peter grabbed his shirt off the floor and cleaned them up as best he could without actually getting out of bed. Then he rested his head on Nathan's chest and they drifted into sleep.
Peter was sitting at the edge of the bed when Nathan woke up. He was staring at something in his hands. Nathan sat up and looked over Peter's shoulder.
"You're up," Peter commented, turning his head to kiss Nathan lightly.
"Yeah, sorry about that. It was a little more than I was expecting," Nathan apologized.
"It was incredible," Peter agreed, looking back down at the photos.
"So what's bothering you?"
Peter turned to face Nathan. "As wonderful as it is that you found me, it does complicate my life a bit."
"The people downstairs. That girl," Nathan guessed.
"Yeah. I've kind of agreed to help them out. For a while at least," Peter said.
"You have a new life," Nathan flatly agreed.
"This, between us, is complicated too. I mean, brothers?"
"I know. Believe me, I know."
"And then there's Claire," Peter said, looking at that photograph again.
"She's going to be ecstatic that I found you," Nathan said.
"How did you?" Peter asked.
"There's this girl, Molly. She's special too. She can find people just by thinking about them. You just turned up on her radar yesterday."
"Why so long?" Peter asked.
"I wish that I knew. There are a hundred scenarios running through my head right now, but since you don't remember anything, they're probably going to remain just that, scenarios."
"So you jumped on a plane based on the word of this girl?"
"I had to. Peter my life has been a mess since you disappeared. I knew you weren't dead though. I knew it with every fiber of my being. I had to see you and know that it was true. I had to know why you had stayed away."
"I'm sorry you had to go through that. You and Claire. Wait, does she know that I'm alive?"
"Not yet," Nathan said. "I wanted to see you for myself before I got her hopes up."
"You should probably call her," Peter said.
"Better yet, come with me," Nathan eagerly suggested. "I know that she's not fitting into her new life very well right now. I can think of nothing better to brighten her day than to see you with her own two eyes."
"Nathan, I don't think that I can. I have commitments here…"
"So we'll wait until you fulfill them and then we'll go," Nathan said.
"We? You're going to stay?" Peter questioned.
"If you'll let me. I don't want to be without you any more than I have to. Not when I just got you back."
"Things could get ugly, especially once I have to break it off with Caitlin. Ricky is her brother," Peter explained.
"Good thing your big brother will be around to protect you," Nathan said, pulling Peter into a one-armed hug.
"I'll try to get out of this commitment quickly, okay?"
"Okay. Then we can reunite you with the rest of your family," Nathan agreed.
The End
Copyright© October 2007